The past few days have been quite hectic for me. So much has happened with family. I've had a few questions about my health. I felt the need to apologize to a bunch of people, whom I abruptly stopped speaking to a few months back (when I discovered that trying to better myself was more important than not breaking y own vicious cycle). It truly feels like one thing after another, and it is. It has been one thing after another for a long time now. Some good, some bad.
Tonight, I've been flipping the channels between game 6 of the LA Kings/Chicago Blackhawks game, which the Blackhawks won, and the Dodgers' game. After hanging up with my girlfriend on FaceTime, I turned the volume on the television up just a tad and began giving the baseball game more of my attention. It was down to the last out, bottom of the 5th inning, with the Dodgers at bat, when they showed a young African American woman in the stands. She clapped her hands and smiled, looking out to the field with hope in her eyes. Her hands stayed together as the camera panned out, then back to the player at bat. For whatever odd reason, this struck me as inspiration.
She was a very pretty young woman, maybe in her late teens, very early twenties. She had a button down Dodger shirt on. She was very much into the game, you could tell. No other worries plagued her face, the only one was for the hitter to make some magic. It got me thinking..... what's her story? What is she going through in life? Is she struggling? Is this her prime? Does she had worries? Is she troubled? Or is she happy? Does she have all of her dreams, or is she working towards them? So many questions just from seeing ONE person in a crowd of THOUSANDS.
We all have things we are going through. Sadly, some people play the "my life is worse" card, which doesn't give others a chance to help the world see that we all have equal feelings. My life is not perfect by any means. I probably have more fear than 2 chihuahuas combined, but I make it through. Somehow, some way, I always make it through. My life is no worse than the person before or after me. My life, my troubles in life, are my own. Either the hand I was dealt, or the situations I've gotten myself into, they are not much worse than a good portion of others. It's not the worst, it's not the best, it just is. And I know now that if you want something to get better, you have to really want it. If you want something positive, you have to be and see positive. Otherwise, it will be pain, misery, and suffering. And who really wants that? I don't!
I know it's easier to be miserable, especially when misery loves company. But there is only so much a person can take before they self-destruct. And let's face it, everybody self-destructs at some point, in some way, shape, or form. It's not healthy. It's easier to deal with things on a calm, cool level. It's better to face a situation and say "What can I do to make this better?", rather than just go into something with a defeated attitude. There's always a choice, and I choose optimism. I choose positivism. I choose to be alive, to thrive on good things and try to help others see that good! I believe in the greater good, I know it's out there somewhere. And you can bet your behinds that I won't stop or slow down until I find it!
Alright, folks. Until next time! I am off to finish watching this baseball game, then get caught up in fandom shows, which will tangle my feels like ear bud wires. Oh, the torture is so sweet!
-Mars-
Friday, May 30, 2014
Sunday, April 13, 2014
Ranting and Such (4.13.14)
Not to sounds extremely racist by any means, but I just got done listening to the most relaxing traditional Chinese flute music while playing a few nice rounds of Mahjong Garden.
Okay, maybe that does seem a bit stereotypical, but the music was necessary. It helps me relax when I'm stressed, and it helps me think a little more clearly. Don't we all have something like that in our lives? Something that seems a little whacky or off-the-wall to others, but it helps us cope. It helps us deal with the day-to-day. For me, it's music from other cultures. My favorites right now are Irish Celtic and Traditional Chinese Flute. They're both so relaxing, and I highly recommend both genres to anyone who would like to welcome beautiful sounds and calm into their life.
Now, let's move onto the topic of stress, and what has been causing it for me lately. Sure, the normal everyday thing I go through, with OCD, doesn't help. But there are other factors, too. Family will always be a stress in everyone's life, that's a given. My family is a bit different from others. It's smaller, but we make up for it with our big hearts and big mouths. My parents and sister were all born in New York. I, the lone wolf, was born in sunny California. My nephew was born here in Cali, too. So, basically, we were raised by wolves. At least, that's what I tell everyone who asks. Think about it, they are city folk who know how to open their traps to get where they need to go (literally), where as I am calm, cool, collected, and pretty groovy. Contrasting lifestyles, but it seems to mesh well.
Lately things have been a little more hectic than usual. My nephew has a multitude of diagnosis, and my Dad suffers from Parkinson's Disease. With those things coming at me from every angle, plus my Mom and sister having their battles, I've found myself forgetting where my center of zen was. I've been getting so caught up and focused on the negativity of the situations around me that I feel like I've almost forgotten how to take a step back and assess these daily situations. Instead of trying to lend a helping hand, I've been trying to almost take over the reigns, to give my Mom a little more breathing room. But all I've accomplished was angering everyone, including myself. And the sad part is, it's not just anger from these current situations, but ghosts from the past that I can't seem to forget. But, that's a story for another time.
I've lost myself, that's obvious. I've taken a step forward, but have almost fallen over the edge. I nearly overlooked the warning signs, and now I'm paying the price for it. So it's time to take a few steps back, and get back to basics. The simple things. But what are the simple things? Technology has made it so difficult to remember what those things are. Kids riding bicycles and playing cops and robbers until dusk starts to set. Getting up at the crack of dawn to watch your favorite shows while eating a bowl of your favorite sugary cereal. Actually changing the channel on the TV without pressing 1 simple button to see what every channel was showing. Oh, how times have changed! Am I old enough to say that? 27 seems fair!! The simple things now consist of smartphones that give you directions, and tablets that double as books. I feel like the best stocked bookshelf is in the public library.
Nobody can revert back to childhood for the simple things, but they can bring simplicity to their lives. For me, it's in the form of great music, good food, good company, and things that make me smile. So really, the traditional Chinese flute music and Mahjong Garden game may not be so racist after all. They're just fun tools to help deal with my daily, stressful life. And soon, I'll have a nice chair to sit on in the backyard where I can read..... ACTUAL BOOKS!!
Until next time, stay cool, and be groovy!
-Mars-
Okay, maybe that does seem a bit stereotypical, but the music was necessary. It helps me relax when I'm stressed, and it helps me think a little more clearly. Don't we all have something like that in our lives? Something that seems a little whacky or off-the-wall to others, but it helps us cope. It helps us deal with the day-to-day. For me, it's music from other cultures. My favorites right now are Irish Celtic and Traditional Chinese Flute. They're both so relaxing, and I highly recommend both genres to anyone who would like to welcome beautiful sounds and calm into their life.
Now, let's move onto the topic of stress, and what has been causing it for me lately. Sure, the normal everyday thing I go through, with OCD, doesn't help. But there are other factors, too. Family will always be a stress in everyone's life, that's a given. My family is a bit different from others. It's smaller, but we make up for it with our big hearts and big mouths. My parents and sister were all born in New York. I, the lone wolf, was born in sunny California. My nephew was born here in Cali, too. So, basically, we were raised by wolves. At least, that's what I tell everyone who asks. Think about it, they are city folk who know how to open their traps to get where they need to go (literally), where as I am calm, cool, collected, and pretty groovy. Contrasting lifestyles, but it seems to mesh well.
Lately things have been a little more hectic than usual. My nephew has a multitude of diagnosis, and my Dad suffers from Parkinson's Disease. With those things coming at me from every angle, plus my Mom and sister having their battles, I've found myself forgetting where my center of zen was. I've been getting so caught up and focused on the negativity of the situations around me that I feel like I've almost forgotten how to take a step back and assess these daily situations. Instead of trying to lend a helping hand, I've been trying to almost take over the reigns, to give my Mom a little more breathing room. But all I've accomplished was angering everyone, including myself. And the sad part is, it's not just anger from these current situations, but ghosts from the past that I can't seem to forget. But, that's a story for another time.
I've lost myself, that's obvious. I've taken a step forward, but have almost fallen over the edge. I nearly overlooked the warning signs, and now I'm paying the price for it. So it's time to take a few steps back, and get back to basics. The simple things. But what are the simple things? Technology has made it so difficult to remember what those things are. Kids riding bicycles and playing cops and robbers until dusk starts to set. Getting up at the crack of dawn to watch your favorite shows while eating a bowl of your favorite sugary cereal. Actually changing the channel on the TV without pressing 1 simple button to see what every channel was showing. Oh, how times have changed! Am I old enough to say that? 27 seems fair!! The simple things now consist of smartphones that give you directions, and tablets that double as books. I feel like the best stocked bookshelf is in the public library.
Nobody can revert back to childhood for the simple things, but they can bring simplicity to their lives. For me, it's in the form of great music, good food, good company, and things that make me smile. So really, the traditional Chinese flute music and Mahjong Garden game may not be so racist after all. They're just fun tools to help deal with my daily, stressful life. And soon, I'll have a nice chair to sit on in the backyard where I can read..... ACTUAL BOOKS!!
Until next time, stay cool, and be groovy!
-Mars-
Monday, March 24, 2014
This Is Who I Am
For the past few days, I've been debating on what my first post should be about. Music? Food? My dog? Reasons why I think trees are so awesome? And then it dawned on me..... the best way to start is to tell you all a bit about myself. So, sit back, relax, grab a snack, and read about the Martian known as Mars.
It all started when I was just an egg and a sperm... okay, perhaps that's too far back. I'll speed it up a bit. After that turn of events, 9 months later, I was born on October 25th, 1986, in beautiful Central California. There, I did baby things. You know, just, whatever babies do. Not really a care in the world, other than where was my blanket, or when was I going to eat again. Fast forward 27 years, and I still want food and a nap.
Okay, let me give you some details in bullet point perspective, here.
- I identify as Gender Fluid. Born a female, sometimes identify as male, but usually stick to non-binary. There is no wrong pronoun to call me, unless I state otherwise. Basically, I'm in the LGBT community, I'm in the Trans* community, and I'm VERY PROUD!
- Music is my passion. I'm pretty sure my blood has music notes running through it, even though I don't know how to read sheet music. I love to play guitar and write songs, or play cover songs. I love to play mindless songs that don't make any sense to anyone but me. I love to play guitar while being barefoot during the summer. I love the way the music makes me feel, when I get lost in it. I just love music!
- I am a comedian. If you're feeling down or having "one of those days", I probably have some sort of hilarious remedy up my sleeve. I love writing my own comedy, even if it's not as good. But I'm working on it!
- I'm a hippie, but a drug-free one! Maybe this is why I think the '70s were so cool, or why I think trees are so darn amazing. Either way, I'm just so groovy!!
- I have OCD, ADD, and a few other disorders. Though it can be quite a challenge in life, I never let them hold me back from doing the things I truly love to do in life. I can't see myself without these disorders, because they made me better myself in many ways.
- I love to do charity work. I love to give to others that are in need, whether it be advice or knowledge, education, help in any way. I like to fund raise. I just love to do things for the greater good.
- I'm a very passionate person. The people closest to me would describe me as creative, kind, generous, thoughtful, outgoing, devoted. I put my whole heart into things. I always try to find the positives in the negatives, no matter what they may be.
- I love to bake and attempt to cook. It's fun! I get such a kick out of making things, especially when they taste good and I can actually eat them. (food allergies aren't as fun)
- I'm always learning, growing, and listening. I love life!!
I'm sure I'll figure out more things to say. I'll have videos to post, songs to share, lots of stuff. With me, it's an adventure. So, stick around and see the world through my eyes!!
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